LUNCH IN PARIS by Elizabeth Bard

Memoirist Elizabeth Bard states that there are two kinds of croissants.  The first is a “brioche”;  the second,  flaky.  “I like flake, a croissant with an outer layer so fine and brittle that you get crumbs all over yourself from the very first bite.”

Bard’s delectable memoir, Lunch in Paris, features multiple recipes—for swordfish, ribs with honey, mackerel, duck and blackberries, French onion soup, carrot soup, and salmon.  Also, “Fennel Salad with Lemon, Olive Oil, and Pomegranate Seeds,” “Goat Cheese Salad with Fresh Figs,” “Choux Pastries,”  “Summer Ratatouille,” and more.  To top it off, an essay on French cheeses and lots of chocolate.

But the main course of  Lunch in Paris is the story of how Bard met, romanced and wed her French husband, Gwendal, in Paris.  She was twenty-five years old at the time, a graduate student in art history, in London.  Gwendal was a graduate student in computer science, who longed to be a filmmaker.

Their first meal together—at his tiny studio apartment—was an impromptu lunch concocted of onion, carrots, ham, and tagliatelle pasta.  “It was the best thing I’d ever tasted,” she writes.  “This is amazing,” she said. “You have to give me the recipe.” “ ‘There is no recipe.’ he said, smiling.  ‘I use whatever I have.  It never tastes the same way twice.’”

That first lunch, on their first date, was one of many featured in the book.  There is a sumptuous lunch at L’Hermès—a fancy restaurant with an offering of  “duck with braised  cabbage and apples.”  There is lunch with his parents.  There are lunches during Bard’s stint as a tour guide, and a pre-wedding dinner  with  both sets of parents, at which—except for the bride and groom—no one spoke the other’s language.

Even so, Bard purports to have decoded the reason French women are slim.  Petite portions.  “A French portion is half of an American portion, and a French meal takes twice as long to eat,” she writes.  She concluded this after she  analyzed her slender French mother-in-law’s eating style:  no snacks, drinks lots of water, no soda, drinks wine, and eats petite portions.

During the courtship, as Bard shuttled back and forth between London and Paris, she was a bit off-kilter: “The boys I’d been out with before went to the same schools, came from the same towns. . . .  Although [Gwendal and I] were roughly the same age, we didn’t have the same cultural references.”

It’s a tale of love in two cities; but  Lunch in Paris is not a Charles Dickens novel.  For this is a modern story, a modern love (he  cooked for her!).  It’s love, dating, a wedding and marriage, Parisian style.  When he proposed, Gwendal said, “I know what I want.”  He just wanted to be  happy, and to share his life with her.  (Bard and her friends wanted success.)

Lunch in Paris is a delectable, delightful hybrid memoir—travel and food.  (The language is wonderfully descriptive—not just white, but “the color of warm milk.”)  A chick-lit memoir—with recipes and romance—that depicts the realities of living in Paris, and the romantic ways of one Frenchman.

--Yolanda A.  Reid

Check out these websites: www.elizabethbard.com

www.facebook.com/LunchinParis

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Dickens

WAITING TO BE HEARD by Amanda Knox

Waiting To Be Heard is the  eagerly awaited memoir by Amanda Knox.   In 2009, Knox was convicted—then later acquitted—of murdering her housemate, Meredith Kercher, while both lived and studied in Italy.  During the trial, one reporter dubbed Knox the “angel face,” because she projects uncanny innocence, truth and beauty. 

The story of Knox’s life—in the Northwestern part of the U.S., before she landed in Perugia, Italy—makes for interesting reading.  A self-described “quirky kid” of divorced parents, Amanda had been  a teenager who had dabbled in new experiences.  Because she kept a journal, she describes with seeming accuracy her conversations with family, friends and boyfriends, at home and later in Italy.

Surprisingly, Knox wrote Waiting To Be Heard  herself, and her writing is exceptional.  (I had expected a co-authored book.)   She aspires to be a professional writer, so we can look forward to more of her writings. 

A causal factor in  Knox’s circumstances was that her beginner-Italian could never match the Italian of a native—so she misunderstood, misread and misspoke.  When her two Italian housemates consulted lawyers, Amanda was interrogated  mostly without even an interpreter.  Her exasperation and bewilderment are almost palpable.  The consequence is that, upon acquittal and despite her innocence, she spent four mind-blowing  years  in prison.

Now aged twenty-six, Knox is candid in the book about her lifestyle and relationships at the time.  Also, she reveals  mistakes in a few of her personal choices.  For example, her Myspace photos and writings were used in court—to her detriment.  “Looked at together,” she comments, “these latter images would have portrayed a typical American girl, not as tame as some, not as experimental as many, but typical among my age group—a group that had the bad judgment to put our lives online.”

Waiting To Be Heard projects a three-dimensional  image of  Knox as a mostly “typical American girl” who stumbled into a harrowing experience in Italy.  But she is also resilient, intelligent and—after this experience—might make an excellent  lawyer.  Knox’s  father’s statement, before she left for Perugia, sums up what was then a serious flaw: “I worry that you’re too trusting for your own good, Amanda.”  

Readers—especially law enthusiasts—who wish to psychoanalyze Amanda Knox, or parse the facts and events to “re-try” the case, should read this riveting memoir.

--Yolanda A.  Reid

For more info:

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Knox

Note:   Linda Kulman helped to write Waiting To Be Heard.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-kulman

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/26/books/review/trial-and-error.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/12/books/review/amanda-knox-by-the-book.html?pagewanted=all

ON READING YA BOOKS

        

As a teenager, I used to read lots of books.  Our  basement had bookcases that lined the walls, end to end.  Alongside the bookcases were a couple of  boxes filled with books.  The basement was our private family library.  I'd descend to its nether world, peruse the bookshelves, then bring books—sometimes a batch at a time—up to my room, to read.  Sometimes, I’d pick a book from a bookshelf and sit as I read or skimmed  its pages, at leisure.

So the following is a list of YA books that I’ve read and been comforted by.  Each book is beautiful and a classic.

 1.  The Woman Warrior  by Maxine Hong Kingston.--I read  The Woman Warrior  years ago, and was moved and inspired by it.  It is the story of Maxine Hong Kingston, the author, as she grows up in California.  The book describes the stories of her childhood.  One monumental character is Brave Orchid, Maxine’s  mother.   The subtitle defines the book as a memoir; but  some readers might consider this a novel rather than a memoir, as some of the stories are fantastical, larger than life.  It is, after all, a “girlhood among ghosts.”  Nevertheless, The Woman Warrior contains beautiful imagery, and poignant vivid scenes.  

2.  Home to India by Santha Rama Rau—At age 16,--after  living in England for ten years—author Santha Rama Rau and her family returned to India.  Her father was a diplomat during the time of Mahatma Gandhi’s non-violent coup d’état.  The modern/Westernized Rau had to get re-acquainted with her relatives, who espoused classic Indian customs and traditions.  Eventually, she attended Wellesley College and wrote Home to India  while there.  The result is a poignant, well-written story imbued with the time and magic of India—amid political intrigue.

3.  Fifth Chinese Daughter by Jade Snow Wong.--Fifth Chinese Daughter  is the delicately told memoir of Jade Snow Wong during the 1950’s.  Born into a poor family in California, she was inspired to go to college—despite being a girl.  The book chronicles Jade Snow’s hardships and struggles—with neither help nor encouragement from her family.  Ultimately, Jade Snow triumphs by graduating from Mills College; she went on to become  an internationally-known ceramist.  Fifth Chinese Daughter  reminds us that education—now considered a right—was once thought of as a luxury.  In some parts of the world, even today,  girls are shunned or worse for wanting to be educated.

--Yolanda A.  Reid

www.uncp.edu/home/canada/work/canam/kingston.htm‎

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/24/arts/24ramarau.html?_r=0

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jade_Snow_Wong

LEAN IN: Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

Lean In  is author Sheryl Sandberg’s  handbook for contemporary women, to guide us in the 21st century work force.   A graduate of Harvard, Sandberg's own resume is impressive: she was the director of global sales at Google, and is  currently Facebook's COO. 

In the book, she reveals her own challenges in the workplace.  For instance, Lean In begins during her second pregnancy, while  at Google.  She had to  “waddle” from the parking lot to her office.  When she learned that Yahoo had special parking for pregnant staff members, she  requested special parking at Google.  She got her request.  (Google has a reputation for being a  phenomenal  place to work at: free food from several scrumptious menus; you can bring your pet to work; and first-rate child care.  So it’s surprising that no one anticipated the parking lot issue.)

Lean In is the  expanded version from a TEDtalk speech Sandberg gave in 2010. Some of the anecdotes she shares  are of how she settled her Facebook contract, her first  “formal review,”  and an episode of sexual harassment.

The book, Sandberg says, is a “feminist manifesto.”  She asks women to  “lean in”—or assertively pursue—their careers, since women tend to be less comfortable with leadership positions.  As a result, fewer  go on to become leaders.  She argues that women should be less fearful to take on career challenges—despite  issues of  “gender-bias,” sexual harrassment, and work/family balance.

Sandberg  acknowledges that we have made strides, but that we need more gender  equality in a wide array of industries.  In addition, the job market has changed so that, as  her Facebook colleague says,  “Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder.”

Moreover,  she advises women that  “adopting two concurrent goals: a long-term dream and an eighteen-month plan” is a good idea.  Both young and mature women should establish goals and learn new skills.   Also, they should get feedback; build relationships;  get good advice; and reach out by offering to help.  

For women, the problem of getting a mentor is especially challenging, according to Sandberg.   She also addresses the issue of honest communication in  the workplace:  to illustrate that point, she cites another Facebook colleague, who told CEO Mark Zuckerberg, “My manager is bad!”

“Communication,” she concludes,  “works best when we combine appropriateness with authenticity. . .”

On finding a spouse, she writes:  “When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is to date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the committment-phobic boys, the crazy boys.  But do not marry them. . . .  When it comes time to settle down find someone who wants an equal partner.   Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious.”

Lastly, Sandberg shares  the anecdote of the little girl who wanted to be an astronaut  when she grew up.  The boy she liked, however, also  wanted to be an astronaut.   Even this five-year-old girl recognized an ever-present  issue adult women grapple with every workday:  "When we go into space together, who will watch our kids?"

--Yolanda A.  Reid

For more info, visit these websites:

http://www.leanin.org

http://www.facebook.com/leanin.org

AT HOME IN THE WORLD by Joyce Maynard

At Home in the World is the mesmerizing memoir by Joyce Maynard that chronicles her devastating, all-consuming relationship with  renowned novelist, J. D. Salinger.

On the surface, it seems inexplicable: why would an eighteen-year-old girl 'fall in love' with a fifty-three year-old man?  But now, having read the book, I feel  I understand.

Salinger’s  first letter seems innocent—he was a fan of  her New York Times essay, "An Eighteen-year old Looks Back on Life" and "cautions that a glimpse of fame can distract a writer."

The letter‘s sentiments made  her feel as if he saw her spirit, gave her a feeling of value, validated her talent and herself.  This is intoxicating.  In a sense, too, Salinger  tries to save her from—to quote Lady Gaga—"the fame monster" (of which he knows plenty).

But Maynard also had much in common with Salinger—both writers, both from New England, both felt like outsiders.  Moreover, "this stranger . . . seems to know me," she writes.  Brilliant, thoughtful, charming Salinger was an artist and a devotee of alternative medicine and vegetarianism.  He had a sophistication and knowledge of the world he wished to  bestow on her.

As for Maynard, she had a precociousness and a maturity beyond her years, along with her sense of alienation.  She is also needy (who among us does not need or want love?).  She is anorexic and bulimic.  Yet she wins prizes and accolades, writes magazine articles; gains kudos from New York intellectuals.

All that said, Salinger—the grown-up—should not have allowed this ‘friendship’ to go further.

One wonders what Maynard's parents (her mother, especially) were thinking.  She wonders, too, in the scene before her first weekend trip to Salinger's home: "I have tried to imagine what was going on in my parents' minds. . . .  Nobody suggests this is a bad idea or questions what might be going on in the mind of a fifty-three year old man who invites an eighteen-year-old to come and spend the weekend."

Perhaps they were naive or, as Maynard says, filled with pride.  This was in 1971.  As a society, we now more quickly recognize child abuse or the potential for it.  

As a reader, I am fascinated by the poetic symmetry in Maynard’s life, which can only be regarded as fated.  For instance, her description of her father might also describe Salinger in the early stages: "courtly and dapper and charming."

In its essence, theirs is a father-daughter relationship:  Salinger gives young Joyce advice about her writing career, about life.  He makes suggestions.  Then, later, they are commandments—he controls what she eats (very little), wears, writes, whom she befriends.  Everything is subject to his approval.

When he abruptly  ends the relationship, Maynard desperately tries to convince him otherwise.  (In truth, I read of the break-up with relief.)

Add to the mix, a flirtation of sorts between Salinger and Maynard's mother—which may have contributed to the "dissolution" of the relationship—and you have a sad, distressing situation for all concerned.

At fifty, Fredelle Maynard—an author  and “a Harvard Phd”—was at “an age more appropriate for receiving the attention of a fifty-three-year old."  Years earlier, when she was nineteen, Mrs. Maynard had wed a man who was twenty years her senior.  Slim, tall, and blond, Max Maynard was "courtly and dapper and charming." That marriage was now also headed for “dissolution.”

The writing is in the present tense, which heightens the book’s intimacy.   This tense—the historical present—also gives a sense of immediacy, of overwhelming understatement.    Once you begin to read At Home in the World, however, you will not stop.  The book is so engrossing.  It is a cautionary tale young girls/women ought to read: the lessons related in this book, we may all benefit from.

In the afterword, Maynard states that she auctioned off J.D. Salinger's many letters to her.  But, I wonder, what happened to her letters to him?  Does she know?  Or can we guess that Salinger burned or destroyed them?

At Home in the World forever links Joyce Maynard's name with J. D. Salinger’s.  We can perceive it as tarnishing his literary legacy; or that the book provides  a more complete portrait of him. 

"If I tell what I do, nobody else can expose me,” Maynard writes.  “If I live my life in a way I'm not ashamed of, why shouldn't I be able to talk about it?  I am surely not the only woman who made herself throw up every day, or flew into a rage at her children, or felt abandoned by love.”

--Yolanda A.  Reid





For more info, visit these websites:


http://travel.nytimes.com/2012/09/16/travel/in-guatemala-a-torturous-drive-to-a-remote-eden.html?pagewanted=1&ref=joycemaynard

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyce_Maynard

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/29/books/29salinger.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

http://www.umanitoba.ca/libraries/archives/collections/complete_holdings/ead/html/
maynard.shtml#series7

http://books.google.com/books?id=veTPZA9TWxsC&pg=PA50&dq

DOMESTIC AFFAIRS by Joyce Maynard

Reading Domestic Affairs by Joyce Maynard is like being enveloped by a big warm blanket for the duration.  The book is based on Maynard's essays written for her then-syndicated newspaper column.  She writes about her children, diapers, potty training, the time her mother knit a miniature sweater--with toothpicks--for a toy bear.

Her writing is amicable, soothing, warm--as if we were seated in a kitchen, nibbling on a Sunday brunch of warm cocoa and orange marmalade on French toast, as we chat about our lives.  And yet, it is cogent and cohesive; her themes, perceptive, well-developed.  Her writing is a bit wordy. But I like it.  She writes that her writing is just about her life.

“Now,” she writes, “I document  ordinary daily life.”

But it is charming and absorbing, to peek into Maynard's life. She grew up in a small New England town, more rural than suburban.  Making pie crusts was both a hobby and a passion.  (“I know by heart the Joy of Cooking recipe for blueberry muffins and the names of all the seven dwarfs and eight reindeer.”)

Maynard writes about the births of her  three children, the perennial balance of work and family, and  her childhood home.  A few of the chapters include other topics, such as "Babysitter Problems,"  Christmas in her household, tomato sauce, dolls and doll-houses, "How I married Steve," "Baby Love," and a wistful look back at her sixteen-year old self.

In an iconic anecdote, Maynard describes her first meeting with Peg, the woman who was to make her slipcovers: “.  .  . Because I was still pretty busy getting the children out the door to preschool and second grade, getting the lunch boxes packed, the library books gathered up, I had to ask Peg to wait a minute.”

Once the kids were dispatched to school, she said to the slipcover maker, “I'm sorry. . .  It's pretty hectic around here in the mornings.  Getting three children dressed and out the door. . .”

To which Peg replied, "I know. . . I had nine."

 A precocious child, Maynard first published at age fourteen.  At eighteen, she wrote the celebrated  New York Times Magazine essay, "An Eighteen-year Old Looks Back on Life"--to be perceived thereafter as the ‘voice of her generation.’

Later, her memoir At Home in the World revealed she had lived with renowned novelist J. D. Salinger for almost a year.  He was fifty-three years old; she was nineteen!

Domestic Affairs is a lovely, likable book that “validates”—to use Maynard’s word—mothers, babies, children, family life—all things domestic.  The anecdotes are endearing: when she makes tomato sauce, or spends an hour readying the kids to play in just-fallen snow only to return indoors after “exactly eight minutes.”  Or when she reads the story of Babar the elephant to her young son.  The book feels warm, cuddly, comfy—like a teddy bear or like “the Lazy-Boy” recliner chair she once coveted.

Whether unconventional or traditional, Joyce Maynard’s life is full, rich, interesting.

--Yolanda A.  Reid

Check out this article by Joyce Maynard:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joyce-maynard/joyce-maynard-novel_b_685191.html

And her website:

http://www.joycemaynard.com

FINDING MY BALANCE by Mariel Hemingway

Finding My Balance is the bittersweet memoir of Mariel Hemingway, an author,

yogini and former actress.  The granddaughter of the renowned adventurer and

novelist Ernest Hemingway, the author recounts watershed moments in her life,

as she morphs from young adulthood into adulthood.   We get to see her at

age 12 as she cares for her chronically ill mother.  

As a teen, she starred in films like“Manhattan”--with Woody Allen--and 

“Personal Best,” in which she plays an athlete, and “Lipstick”--with sister Margaux, 

a model and actress.  Unfortunately, as a consequence of Mariel’s success in films, 

her relationship with Margaux becomes estranged.  In fact, the only familial relationship 

in the book that’s not dysfunctional is with her father, Jack, an outdoorsman, who instilled 

in Mariel a love of nature.

Each chapter begins with a yoga pose: Warrior, Eagle, Rabbit, etc.  Mariel describes

herself as she assumes each pose.  In one chapter, she details her devotion to her

guru, Paramahansa Yogananda and how he changed her life.  She also details her

stringent/extreme diets: “I routinely skipped meals in favor of iced, blended espressos

with vanilla—no milk, no sweetener.”  Another guru (though a reluctant one) is Dr.  Peter

Evans who got her to give up coffee and to re-vamp her diet. “Two buttered eggs for

breakfast with fruit or buttered toast.”

We get to experience Mariel’s intense heartache as she copes with the deaths of her

mother, sister, and father.  Throughout these crises, yoga and meditation saved her life. 

The last crisis in the book is that of her husband’s illness and how she survived that. 

The last chapter is comprised of a series of yoga poses.

Finding My Balance is the wonderfully readable story of a woman as she teeters, at first,

within  her life and then, through yoga, stands grounded on the earth, within her skin.  

“Mountain Pose.”

--Yolanda A.  Reid

Check out Mariel Hemingway’s website at www.marielhemingway.com.  Also check out

an article on her new documentary, "Running from Crazy", about her family history at http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/21/health/hemingway-film/index.html.